Start

November 19th, 2011, 8:25PM

Tags

September 20th, 2013, 8:37AM

I have a confession. I have no idea how to "blog".

I don't know what it stands for (something like a "babble-log"?) and I'm not even sure I like the idea of blogging. I always doubt my thoughts will be of any interest to readers - but maybe I'm mistaken. I originally added this Journal function to my website for the personal purpose of accountability, but it'll also include (I hope) sketch-work, project updates and a little place for me to record my thought-processes. I suppose that it's normal for blogs to go into some detail about the author on the first post. Fortunately for me, I had the foresight to make my first "official" post quite a long time ago and I am shamelessly content to leave it as it is.

Grit

September 21st, 2013, 6:06AM

I'm currently working as an artist for a start-up game company. I'm not exactly sure what I can divulge at the moment, but it's very reasonable to say that this is a completely new world to me.
In every respect it is the most exciting work I've ever done, but also the most terrifying! I am the only artist on the team which leaves me (almost) solely responsible for the aesthetics and visual quality of the final product. I want to do my best to fulfil my role in a way that reflects the trust and responsibility that my colleagues have given me but as a person, I can be self-critical to a fault. I am in no way a fantastic artist - I would honestly consider myself to be very average. After I left school I stopped a lot of my artistic pursuits (which were mostly recreational at that point) in favour of getting to grips with what my undergraduate degree required of me. After graduation I never really got back into the swing of things before I decided to move onto my postgraduate degree as well. During the years that passed an increasing sense of disquiet took hold of me. Just as my world-view was broadening, that embarrassing and cocky self-assurance that, "I'm one of the arty girls in class", began to shrink in light of the reality of my situation. Taking on this job feels, in many ways, like I'm taking on these kinds of character flaws of mine and saying, "Okay. Well, what can I do to fix this? Am I doing my best to improve the things I think need improvement, or am I just sitting around worrying about them?" Up until recently, I'd say I was letting my doubts get in the way of my aspirations and it was a combination of luck and good connections that landed me in my current occupation. I've been given a great opportunity to try and address my insecurities in a tangible way. Practice will always trump 'talent' but the entire concept seems remarkably over-simplified when described like that. "Grit", is a term that I've become quite fond of. I think people (including myself) have underestimated the amount of grit necessary to achieve improvement in any aspect of life, be it languages, employment, weight-loss (or gain!) etc. It takes a lot of grit to practice something for hours, look back at it, be miserable with the result and go, "Okay - let's try this again", over and over. I've been stuck on the "miserable" and I'm determined to change that.

One of the things I'd really like to write about in this Journal is the role of women in the Games Industry. It's not a topic that I'm actually very comfortable with, because I often feel nervous by the idea that a gender divide can be "good" or "bad". I feel like debates on the topic can sometimes suffer tunnel-vision, and I really feel it is an area that is almost unfair to men to discuss at times. If I was a male in a male-dominated industry, I wouldn't feel comfortable airing some of the thoughts I have on the matter, for fear of being called sexist. Recently, I accidently sparked off a very heated (though fascinating to read) discussion on this topic and as a woman in the games industry, I was up all night trying to reconcile my thoughts on the matter. I'll probably come back to this topic in another entry but, I suppose I just wanted to record my thoughts now before I forget.


uploaded image

BRB

October 4th, 2013, 7:22PM

Just a quick late night post.

The last two weeks have seen me fairly preoccupied between visits from friends and trying to make sure I work appropriately to my (self-designed) schedule.

With regards to the visits, they've been great - and I'll write about what I got up to in a different post.
Likewise, I'll look to start updating the Journal with some of my sketches and updates on my current project.

Goodnight from London x

cafeneaua

September 11th, 2016, 10:12AM

Aș mai zice de carieră.

Printre ceea ce aș numi reușită se numără găsirea unei activități care să nu mai implice existența unui șef. Cum ar fi o cafenea pentru care se pot oferi ambele, trupul și sufletul. Trupul prin munca depusă, alegerea cafelei, măcinarea, prepararea și servirea. Apoi tot trup dedicat completamente aranjării, decorării și organizării localului. Suflet pentru felul în care se alege personalul și reușita armonizării acestuia. Dragoste din tot sufletul pentru prima și ultima boabă. O încercare de a aduce un ajutor celor care le culeg. Simpla participarea poate reprezenta un plus pentru cei osteniți după o zi de muncă într-un soare torid. Eu aș putea spune că am experimentat ceva asemănător, însă a durat 2 zile, în timp ce la unii dintre ei, o viață. Nu mă pot nicidecum compara. Suflet pentru trupul depus în toate activitățile. Suflet pentru a învăța cât mai multe despre cafea și pentru a încerca continuu tehnici de redescoperire, inovative. Un devotament absolut, una cu boaba. Să fii boaba aș zice. Trup și suflet pentru investiții care valorează ceva dacă mă gândesc doar ala dintr-un foc. Suflet pentru scopul comercializării cafelei. Să trezești lumea cu un zâmbet pe față, să demonstrezi că există libertatea alegerii, egalitatea, gratuitatea (necondiționată). Crearea unor valori și transmiterea acestora prin asocierea cu indvizi interesați și dornici să depună poate la fel de mult din fizicul și psihicul lor. Aceasta să fie un concept care să aștearnă un zâmbet sub privirile întoarse către ea. Emoții pozitive date mai departe fără constrângeri. Recomandări cu plăcere distribuite. Un loc în care singurele griji ale oamenilor care vin acolo să fie cele nelegate de el. O casă primitoare și comfortabilă.
Relația cu statul și instituțiile acestuia vor cere multe atât trupului cât și sufletului. Dar des se petrece împotmolirea în fața acestui ipotetic, de multe ori neîndoielnic tăvălug. Nu facem că o să vină ăia să strice tot, n-am chef să mă amestesc în mizeria asta, uite la ăla la aia cum a fost și unde au ajuns. Clar nu așa. Dar știu că e greu. Însă sunt unii care au luptat și au reușit să își găsească un loc și chiar dacă mai sunt deranjați din când în când de agenții dreptății, ei le au pe ale lor care cântăresc îndeajuns pentu a contrabalansa-o în favoarea dorinței lor de a merge mai departe.

așteptarea

September 11th, 2016, 10:14AM

Start

November 19th, 2011, 8:25PM

Tags

September 20th, 2013, 8:37AM

I have a confession. I have no idea how to "blog".

I don't know what it stands for (something like a "babble-log"?) and I'm not even sure I like the idea of blogging. I always doubt my thoughts will be of any interest to readers - but maybe I'm mistaken. I originally added this Journal function to my website for the personal purpose of accountability, but it'll also include (I hope) sketch-work, project updates and a little place for me to record my thought-processes. I suppose that it's normal for blogs to go into some detail about the author on the first post. Fortunately for me, I had the foresight to make my first "official" post quite a long time ago and I am shamelessly content to leave it as it is.

Grit

September 21st, 2013, 6:06AM

I'm currently working as an artist for a start-up game company. I'm not exactly sure what I can divulge at the moment, but it's very reasonable to say that this is a completely new world to me.
In every respect it is the most exciting work I've ever done, but also the most terrifying! I am the only artist on the team which leaves me (almost) solely responsible for the aesthetics and visual quality of the final product. I want to do my best to fulfil my role in a way that reflects the trust and responsibility that my colleagues have given me but as a person, I can be self-critical to a fault. I am in no way a fantastic artist - I would honestly consider myself to be very average. After I left school I stopped a lot of my artistic pursuits (which were mostly recreational at that point) in favour of getting to grips with what my undergraduate degree required of me. After graduation I never really got back into the swing of things before I decided to move onto my postgraduate degree as well. During the years that passed an increasing sense of disquiet took hold of me. Just as my world-view was broadening, that embarrassing and cocky self-assurance that, "I'm one of the arty girls in class", began to shrink in light of the reality of my situation. Taking on this job feels, in many ways, like I'm taking on these kinds of character flaws of mine and saying, "Okay. Well, what can I do to fix this? Am I doing my best to improve the things I think need improvement, or am I just sitting around worrying about them?" Up until recently, I'd say I was letting my doubts get in the way of my aspirations and it was a combination of luck and good connections that landed me in my current occupation. I've been given a great opportunity to try and address my insecurities in a tangible way. Practice will always trump 'talent' but the entire concept seems remarkably over-simplified when described like that. "Grit", is a term that I've become quite fond of. I think people (including myself) have underestimated the amount of grit necessary to achieve improvement in any aspect of life, be it languages, employment, weight-loss (or gain!) etc. It takes a lot of grit to practice something for hours, look back at it, be miserable with the result and go, "Okay - let's try this again", over and over. I've been stuck on the "miserable" and I'm determined to change that.

One of the things I'd really like to write about in this Journal is the role of women in the Games Industry. It's not a topic that I'm actually very comfortable with, because I often feel nervous by the idea that a gender divide can be "good" or "bad". I feel like debates on the topic can sometimes suffer tunnel-vision, and I really feel it is an area that is almost unfair to men to discuss at times. If I was a male in a male-dominated industry, I wouldn't feel comfortable airing some of the thoughts I have on the matter, for fear of being called sexist. Recently, I accidently sparked off a very heated (though fascinating to read) discussion on this topic and as a woman in the games industry, I was up all night trying to reconcile my thoughts on the matter. I'll probably come back to this topic in another entry but, I suppose I just wanted to record my thoughts now before I forget.


uploaded image

BRB

October 4th, 2013, 7:22PM

Just a quick late night post.

The last two weeks have seen me fairly preoccupied between visits from friends and trying to make sure I work appropriately to my (self-designed) schedule.

With regards to the visits, they've been great - and I'll write about what I got up to in a different post.
Likewise, I'll look to start updating the Journal with some of my sketches and updates on my current project.

Goodnight from London x

cafeneaua

September 11th, 2016, 10:12AM

Aș mai zice de carieră.

Printre ceea ce aș numi reușită se numără găsirea unei activități care să nu mai implice existența unui șef. Cum ar fi o cafenea pentru care se pot oferi ambele, trupul și sufletul. Trupul prin munca depusă, alegerea cafelei, măcinarea, prepararea și servirea. Apoi tot trup dedicat completamente aranjării, decorării și organizării localului. Suflet pentru felul în care se alege personalul și reușita armonizării acestuia. Dragoste din tot sufletul pentru prima și ultima boabă. O încercare de a aduce un ajutor celor care le culeg. Simpla participarea poate reprezenta un plus pentru cei osteniți după o zi de muncă într-un soare torid. Eu aș putea spune că am experimentat ceva asemănător, însă a durat 2 zile, în timp ce la unii dintre ei, o viață. Nu mă pot nicidecum compara. Suflet pentru trupul depus în toate activitățile. Suflet pentru a învăța cât mai multe despre cafea și pentru a încerca continuu tehnici de redescoperire, inovative. Un devotament absolut, una cu boaba. Să fii boaba aș zice. Trup și suflet pentru investiții care valorează ceva dacă mă gândesc doar ala dintr-un foc. Suflet pentru scopul comercializării cafelei. Să trezești lumea cu un zâmbet pe față, să demonstrezi că există libertatea alegerii, egalitatea, gratuitatea (necondiționată). Crearea unor valori și transmiterea acestora prin asocierea cu indvizi interesați și dornici să depună poate la fel de mult din fizicul și psihicul lor. Aceasta să fie un concept care să aștearnă un zâmbet sub privirile întoarse către ea. Emoții pozitive date mai departe fără constrângeri. Recomandări cu plăcere distribuite. Un loc în care singurele griji ale oamenilor care vin acolo să fie cele nelegate de el. O casă primitoare și comfortabilă.
Relația cu statul și instituțiile acestuia vor cere multe atât trupului cât și sufletului. Dar des se petrece împotmolirea în fața acestui ipotetic, de multe ori neîndoielnic tăvălug. Nu facem că o să vină ăia să strice tot, n-am chef să mă amestesc în mizeria asta, uite la ăla la aia cum a fost și unde au ajuns. Clar nu așa. Dar știu că e greu. Însă sunt unii care au luptat și au reușit să își găsească un loc și chiar dacă mai sunt deranjați din când în când de agenții dreptății, ei le au pe ale lor care cântăresc îndeajuns pentu a contrabalansa-o în favoarea dorinței lor de a merge mai departe.

așteptarea

September 11th, 2016, 10:14AM